So, when I found a Google News Alert “showcasing” four “events” that I might attend (if I lived on the Mississippi coast), I'm thinking which would I select based on the items in the news:
- Kiwanis meeting: noon, Victor Mavar Sr. Community Room, Hancock Bank, 888 Howard Ave., Biloxi. Program presented by Biloxi Mayor A.J. Holloway. Details: 385-0856.
- American Business Women’s Association membership drive meeting: 6 p.m., Holiday Inn, U.S. 49, Gulfport. Details: 831-4072.
- Patt Odom workshop: 10 a.m.-4 p.m. May 22-26, Mary C. O’Keefe Cultural Center, 1600 Government St., Ocean Springs. Cost: $270 members and $320 nonmembers. Details: 818-2878.
- Uncorked, A Cellar Event: 6 p.m. doors open, IP Casino Resort and Spa, 850 Bayview Ave., Biloxi. Sixth annual fund-raiser for the Biloxi Chamber of Commerce. Tickets: $75. Details: 604-0014.
So, here’s how these made me feel:
- A weekly Kiwanis meeting. Ah, featuring the Mayor. But, what the heck is he talking about?
- ABWA’s membership drive? Really exciting isn’t it. So, if I attend, I’ll probably get “roped in” to selling members. You want me to pay to do this? Forget it!
- An expensive workshop. Who is Patt Odom and what’s her workshop?
- Uncorked cellar event? Sounds intriguing. Might be fun. Maybe I should attend ... oops it’s the 6th annual fund-raiser? Humm ...
How might we rewrite these notices (recognizing that the media will edit them down) to grab my attention (or the attention of a prospective member/attendee)?
- Check the length of these notices. Create your own short version. The less you give, the less the media can edit. Give them a sound-bite sized notice.
- Think like a member. Why would I give up 2-3 hours (and money) to attend this event? Write the 1-3 sentence with that it mind. Start with a “grabber” headline. Then, give facts: date, local, who to call, website, etc.